


Fuck the Galra

by causticfuck



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: I don't know, M/M, Multi, Possible Gangs, Save me from this hell, What are Tags?, mechanic AU, this is gonna be long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-15 15:25:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8061694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/causticfuck/pseuds/causticfuck
Summary: Coran owns a garage and they all work at it.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you conspiracy-kid for making me do this.  
> Most of this was for you anyways, asshole.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coran owns a garage and they all work at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you conspiracy-kid for making me do this.  
> Most of this was for you anyways, asshole.

“Fuck it,” Lance screamed.

Keith looked over dully at the random outburst. Hunk seemed more surprised than anything, despite knowing Lance for most of his life. Lance seemed somewhat sheepish at his screaming, but he still smiled brightly at his boyfriend and best friend.

“Well?” Lance looked confused at Hunk’s question. “Are you gonna explain?” Hunk elaborated for his bro.

“The thing won’t do the thing the thing is supposed to do!”

Hunk nodded in partial understanding. Keith, however, knew exactly what Lance was referring to. He kept his mouth shut.

“Well, we can’t have that, babe,” Hunk said.

Lance looked frustrated beyond belief, “Babe, it keeps doing the thing it’s not supposed to. Like please, make it stop.”

“Lemme at it then, hun,” Hunk started to cross over to Lance’s workspace. 

When Hunk got there, he saw the general clutter of Lance’s old drop cloths and Mountain Dew cans. Lance was sitting in the center of the chaos gently cradling his trusty airbrush that had been on the fritz for the past few weeks. Hunk crouched in front of Lance to carefully take the busted machine from the cute man in distress.

Hunk tinkered with the airbrush for a few minutes before he handed it back. “All good now, probably even better.” 

Lance looked skeptical before he turned to his project and try out the airbrush again. A few seconds of tiny bursts from the airbrush lead to Lance setting the machine down and pouncing onto Hunk. Startled, Hunk grabbed the first body part he can reach to make sure Lance didn’t fall. 

“Oh, babe. You’re the fucking best,” Lance winked “But you’re gonna have to talk to Daddy if you wanna keep your hands.”

Hunk’s eyes went wide and his face flushed. “Oh,” Hunk put Lance on his feet. “Sorry, babe.”

Lance brushed off the apology, “Thank you for fixing my baby,” Lance said before he turned to finish his piece.

Hunk deflated and returned to his work. Keith stood by Hunk’s space with his arms crossed. He met Hunk’s eyes and gave him a small, encouraging smile. Hunk’s eye widen for a second time that day, and his cheeks get even darker.

Keith leaned down and whispered, “It’s fine, don’t worry.” Keith straightened up and called out to Lance, “I’m taking a break with Shiro.”

“Okay, honey, have fun!” Lance blew Keith a kiss.

Keith rolls his eyes and walks to the door smiling. Shiro heard the door open and perked his head up. Shiro’s face stretched into a grin and he rounded the counter and brought Keith to his chest like they didn’t just see each other half an hour ago when Keith come up to look for a part. 

Nuzzled into Shiro’s arms, Keith whispered about the interaction between Hunk and Lance from moments before. Shiro chuckled when he heard where Hunk’s hands ended up.

The pair heard the girls waiting on their cars murmur about them, but they weren’t really listening to what was being said until a loud woman said “Man, I’d love to be in the middle of that sandwich.”

“Excuse me?” Keith was at a loss. “What was that?”

The woman threw her hair over her shoulder and repeated herself in a slower, louder tone. “I. Want. To. Be. In. The. Middle. Of. You. Two. Like a sandwich.”

Keith pried himself from Shiro’s arms, prepared to fight this little loudmouth. 

Lance blasted through the open door, “You little bitch!” He threw off his uniform shirt, and stomped his way between Keith and this puny woman. “That is my fucking sandwich, and you better back the fuck up out of this fucking garage.” Lance seethed.

Keith stood frozen where he was when Lance rushed in. Keith turned his head toward Shiro with a look of mild surprise. Shiro, whose smile was a lot smaller, shook his head and gave the shush movement. Shiro wanted to see where this went.

“Uhm, no,” the woman had the guts to spit at Lance. “My car is in that garage, and I want it fixed.”

Shiro’s smile turned into something wide and plastic, “Hunk! C’mere.”

The sounds of metal parts falling to the floor floated into the room as Hunk scrambled to respond. “Yeah, Shiro?” Hunk lowered his head to fit in the door. “What’s–” Hunk cut off when he noticed the scene in the front. 

Lance turned to look at Hunk while he wiped the woman’s saliva off his face.

“Hunk, do you remember what this woman’s car looks like?” Shiro asked.

“Oh. Yeah. Definitely.” Hunk said, still mildly confused.

“Great, can you get it out of the garage, I really don’t care where you put it.”

Hunk nodded and turned away to do as asked.

“Now, lady. You can leave.” Lance eloquently stated trying to force the woman away from his boyfriends.

The woman stuttered about how unfair they were being and gruffly stated that she would tell her daddy. Lance laughed off her ridiculous comment and pushed the woman a little roughly out of the store.

Shiro motioned for Lance to come closer as he pulled Keith into a new, more comforting hug. Lance laid himself on top of them until they wrapped their arms around him too.

Shiro looked at the other customers with an apologetic smile, “I’m very sorry you guys had to be here for that.”

Most of the girls brushed it off, but one came out and said, “I am so sorry, my friend is the most ridonk when it comes to interacting with actual people. I’ll go make sure the big guy doesn’t get his head bitten off.” Her comment made the still reluctant customers to loosen up. She flounced out the door.

“Come with me,” Coran said as he burst into the room, then he promptly left. 

Shiro sighed before detangling himself from Keith and Lance. He drags them to Coran’s office.  
Upon their entrance, Coran spun his chair around to face them. Keith and Lance shared a look before Lance rolled his eyes and plopped down on one of the comfy armchairs Coran had in his office. Keith moved to walk by, but Lance had a better idea and pulled Keith into his lap. Shiro smiled at them, but remained standing.

“What’s up?” Shiro asked.

“What’s up? What’s UP? You just kicked someone out! That’s what’s up!” Coran blew up.

Lance wrapped his arms around Keith and buried his face into Keith’s neck. “What the fuck, Coran? That little girl spat in Lance’s face. And made a very rude, very suggestive comment about having sex with both Shiro and I.” Keith remained level-headed, so to keep Lance from freaking out.

“Well, shit. That could’ve been handled better, though.”

Keith shrugged and leaned into Lance’s chest. “We know that. But it’s hard to act civilized to such disrespect, sir.”

Coran grumbled and pushed the things on his desk around while he thought. “Alrighty, then. It’s okay. If this leads to something, we will figure it out.”

“Thank you, sir.” Keith nodded.

Lance picked up Keith and looked over at Shiro and Coran. “We’re gonna take the rest of the day, okay?” Lance’s voice was soft, “Shiro, you comin’?”

Shiro smiled before he told Coran that they would be in early tomorrow to make up for any troubles.

The three were on their way out, and they paused to say bye to Hunk. Suddenly, Ultra Brutal Death Metal Bullshit™ starts coming from Shiro, and Lance is basically on Hunk’s back to escape.

Pidge cackled from behind their computer, “I’ve been waiting to do that for half an hour. Y'all take forever, by the way.”

Lance let out a nervous laugh and climbed off of Hunk. “Nice one, Pidge.”

Pidge showed no remorse at Lance’s reaction, “Obviously, I’m me.”

Keith made a face and gestured at Shiro so they could leave. At Shiro’s agreement, Keith tugged Lance from his best friends and out of the garage. They piled into Shiro’s old Cadillac with Lance snuggled into Keith in the backseat. 

“I’m so proud of how this old beauty turned out. I still can’t believe your grandmother just gave it to you.” Keith said with a light laugh.

Lance sighed and snuggled deeper into Keith’s chest as Shiro left the parking lot, headed to their home. “It’s a good thing she did, because we wouldn’t have this if she hadn’t.”

Shiro laughed, “Yeah, it’s pretty great now that you both added your touch to it.” He smiled into the rearview mirror. “You can’t know that for sure, baby.”

Lance pouted back, “Daddy, I mean we wouldn’t be exactly like this. We probably would’ve had all kinds of issues with the you and I versus the Keith and I thing, it wouldn’t have been so clean cut without Cher.”

Keith squeezed Lance’s hip and hummed. “No need to go through something that didn’t happen, blue.” 

They continued to talk about nonsense for the ten minutes the remained in the car. When Shiro finally put the car in park, Lance felt a little better. They all climbed out of the car and into the little townhouse they rented. Shiro walked off, probably to work from the house, while Lance and Keith went to settle down in the living room. 

Lance wrapped himself in a large, fuzzy blanket and laid his head on Keith’s lap while he watched some random shit on TV. Lance pulled out his phone to take a picture of himself and Keith. Lance then secretly posted it on Tumblr with a prompt for his followers to ask the Boyfriend Squad about themselves. 

Not much time passed before Lance had a few questions for Hunk, Keith, and Shiro.

With a straight face, Lance asked Keith, “How do you get your hair to be so perfect?” 

Keith looked down at Lance with raised eyebrows. “I woke up like this? Why are you asking?”

Lance giggled a little, “Because it’s so soft and silky looking.” Lance ran his hand through the dark mullet.

Keith looks skeptical, but accepted the explanation and continued watching TV. Lance kept his hand in Keith’s hair, mindlessly he massaged Keith’s scalp and played with his hair while he continued on Tumblr. Lance shifted up so the his legs laid across Keith’s lap while he faced him so he had better access the the nice and shiny mullet. 

Lance murmured to Keith all the questions that came up for him and Keith, who looked like he was in heaven, complied and thoughtlessly answered everything. About a half hour passed before Shiro joined them on the couch, where he pulled Lance to his chest.

Lance asked “What kind of parent would you be?”

Shiro looked suspicious, “I think I would be a kind and loving parent. But kinda strict about the rules.” Shiro kissed Lance's head, “Why? Do you want kids?”

Lance reddened, “I was just thinking about our future. But, yeah, eventually. I want a bigger house though. And possibly marriage?”

Keith stiffened under Lance's massaging and turned toward Shiro with raised eyebrows. “Marriage, huh? And kids?”

Lance's face flushed even more as he gave a little nod. Keith gave a slight smile to Shiro.

“I think I might like that.”

The three men glanced at the door when they heard a gentle knock. Lance grinned and jumped off his boyfriends. 

“Hunk! Babe!” Lance pounced onto Hunk. 

Hunk grabbed the backs of Lance’s thighs to support him. “Hey,” Hunk said with a dopey smile.

“Ooooh, answer some questions for my Wannabaes, please!” Lance pulled back from his death hug and pouted his lips. “Pretty please, you know they love you the most.”

Behind Lance’s back, completely visible to Hunk, Shiro and Keith were laughing to each other about Lance with Hunk. They made fun of Hunk’s crush on their lanky boyfriend. Hunk felt bad about it, especially when Lance did things like pounce on him, but he couldn’t help it. Shiro and Keith seemed to not mind, probably because they knew how Lance felt. 

The pair stopped abruptly when Lance turned to see what Hunk was staring at. “I know they’re pretty, babe. But Salty and Shiro don’t need to be reminded.” Lance winked at Keith.

“Little shit, I told you not to call me that.” Keith said with an expression that didn’t match his face.

“And I told you not to call me that,” Lance stuck his tongue out.

Shiro smiled at Hunk knowingly. Unrelatedly, Shiro said, “Who’s ready for dinner?”

Lance screeched a little and jumped off Hunk. “ME, BITCH. Me.”

The boyfriends looked at Hunk pleadingly, “Hunk, babe.” Lance said softly with a sad puppy face. “Would you be a dear?”

Hunk laughed, “Why do you think I’m here?”

Lance cheered and did a victory dance. “Thank god!” Lance continued to dance around the living room, and grabbed his phone and aux cord, looking expectantly at Shiro.

Shiro rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s face, “Alright, hand it over.” Shiro grabbed Lance’s hand and pulled him in close. “Go ahead.”

Lance’s excitement tripled as he plugged his phone into his boyfriend’s arm. “You’re the best, Daddy,” Lance kissed Shiro’s cheek, before pulling away to dance more as the music began to play.

“I still can’t believe how you and Pidge made this thing,” Shiro said to Hunk with pride in his voice.

Hunk’s face and ears flushed, “Yeah, me neither. But when it came down to it, the arm was pretty easy to build.” 

Keith grinned cheekily, “Only you would say that, Hunky. I swear, they said that the prosthetic that Shiro had before was top of the line.”

Keith snuck his phone out and snapped a quick picture of Hunk’s still bright red face. He knew Lance would love to post a picture of his “bestie” to tumblr.

Shiro smiled at the three in front of him, “Anyways, let’s get started.” 

Hunk started toward the kitchen, leaving the boyfriends to dance while he cooked. Shiro decided to leave Hunk alone for now and joined Lance’s swaying hips.

Keith walked behind Hunk into the kitchen and sat on the counter. “So.” Keith started, “Are you gonna talk to him?”

Keith talked to Hunk about being demisexual and how he felt about Lance time and time again. Hunk had always got too nervous to fully discuss it, especially with the gravity of it for him. Despite knowing that Lance would likely be open to this seemingly major change in relationship, Hunk still felt like his crush would be a burden on him. That maybe he’d be rebuffed for it.

Hunk sighed, “I dunno, Keith. I don’t want to bother him with this. It’s just. I like where we are right now.”

“Honestly, at this point where you are now is being boyfriends without makeouts and actually being called his–” Keith paused and caught Hunk’s eyes, “Our boyfriend.”

Hunk’s entire body flushed, Keith could see it through the oversized arm holes of his tank top. Hunk stuttered, “Keith, I–”

Keith chuckled at the flustered Hunk in front of the counter. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it before. You can do it, Shiro and I want you too.”

Keith’s small, reassuring smile helped Hunk’s nerves a little before he started to prepare dinner. Shiro made his way into the kitchen to trade spots with Keith, dancing with Lance was as fun as it was tiring. 

“You go dance, I just can’t keep up anymore.” Shiro flopped down onto the floor by the doorway so Lance could still hear his music from the living room. They had perfected a system for dancing with Lance. He could go on for months shaking his hips without tiring.

Keith winked at Hunk and left him to his cooking before jumping off the counter.

“Keith told you, right?”

Shiro didn’t need a response because Hunk’s faded blush renewed as he tried to answer. “Well. Uh. I. Keith. Hmm. Yeah.” In an attempt to hide his reddened everything, turned back to finish cooking.

Shiro turned down the music as he heard the footsteps slow, Keith had Lance in a tight embrace. Shiro unplugged Lance’s phone as he stood to approach Hunk. “Hunk. It’s okay, love. You can do this.” Shiro tried to be supportive, but all he wanted was for Hunk to let his true feelings for Lance come to light. Even though they technically were out, Lance was still as oblivious as ever.

Hunk nodded his head as he stirred. “Ugh, I know,” Hunk groaned. “I just. I don’t know. It’s been like this for so long that I don’t know what will happen if Lance knows.”

Shiro put a reassuring Dad Hand™ on Hunk’s shoulder. Hunk’s fragrant cooking drew Lance’s swaying hips through the door, because even Keith’s lips can’t keep him still.

“What’s cookin’, good lookin’?” Lance asked while hugging Hunk from behind.

“Your favorite, babe. It’s finally cold enough for everyone else to tolerate it.”

“Okay, you gotta be more specific, all of your food is my favorite, let’s be real here,” Lance said as Keith and Shiro shared a knowing but exasperated look.

“Chicken and dumplings, your mama used to cook the best dumplings.” Hunk leaned back into Lance.

“Ooooo, right. I miss her cooking sometimes. But that’s why I got you,” Lance hummed and kissed Hunk’s jaw lightly. Lance felt the warmth radiating off of Hunk’s face immediately, making Lance’s ears red. Lance pulled away and went to sit at the table.

Hunk’s disappointment only showed in the slight deflation of his shoulders as he turned down the burner. Shiro stepped behind him quickly, resting his warm hand against Hunk’s hip.

Lance had his phone open, and finally remembered all the questions the Wannabaes had sent in for Hunk. “Fuck, Hunk? Who would you wanna have a foursome with?” Lance didn’t look up, completely engrossed in the tags people were putting on their reblogs.

All color drained from Hunk’s face as he choked around the spoonful of dumplings he was tasting. “Uhh, I dunno Lance. I’ve never really thought about it.” A slight beading of sweat appeared on his forehead.

Lance accepted the answer without a second thought, or even a glance in Hunk’s direction. “Oh, cool. Who are you crushing on right now?”

Shiro and Keith were dying on the inside, laughter threatened to spill from both boys’ lips as Hunk tried to remain calm enough to answer with “Uh, someone we know.”

This response perked Lance’s interest, “Oh, really? Huh. How come this is the first I’m hearing of this?” Lance seemed a little put out at Hunk’s revelation.

“It’s kinda new, I swear,” Hunk said quickly. Hunk kept his panicked face hidden from Lance as he found bowls and portioned out their meal.

Lance smirked, “Hmm? Yeah? Tell me about them.” 

Hunk almost dropped the bowls he was balancing as he walked toward the table. “Well, let’s just eat for now and I might.” Hunk tried to make it seem like he was excited about it.

Lance seemed skeptical, but agreed anyways. When everyone sat down and started to eat, Lance said, “Hey, Shiro? Can you pass the salt?”

Without batting an eye, Shiro stood and picked up Keith. 

“What the fuck, Shiro?” Keith protested. 

Shiro deposited Keith in Lance’s lap and sat back down with a straight face. “You’re welcome.”

Lance’s poorly contained laugh filled their ears, “Hey, honey. How ya doing?” Lance played off Shiro’s joke.

“Lemme go, I’m hungry,” Keith requested with the cutest little pout.

“Nah, I rather like this position. Don’t you?”

Hunk choked on his chicken and dumplings after trying and failing to keep from laughing.

“See, Keith. Hunk knows what’s up. You should join him in whatever classes he’s been taking.” Lance grinned at Hunk. “Babe, would you mind passing Keith’s bowl and some damn table salt this way?”

Hunk complied easily, and Keith resigned to remain in Lance’s lap, for now. Lance seemed to love all the attention he was getting that day, all because some bitch spat on him. It turned out to be a great day for Lance, even with the event at the shop.

Shiro laughed at them all while trying to secretly give Hunk a look, a signal to start his confession.

Hunk noticed and responded with a slight shake of his head, catching Keith’s attention.

Shiro wasn’t gonna have it and decided to push Hunk a little in the right direction. “So, Hunk. Are you gonna tell us about this someone you are interested in?”

Hunk wanted to shake his head and deny them the pleasure of his torture, but he knew Lance. And Lance knew him. Lance wouldn’t stop until he caved, and Hunk would eventually cave. “Uhm, I guess. Maybe. I don’t want to. But, uh, they’re great.”

Lance’s face perked up from resting on Keith’s shoulder. “Ooooh, how great?”

Hunk kinda flushed as he looked over at Lance, “Very great. They can dance their way into and out of every possible situation. They have the purest, bluest eyes I’ve ever encountered. They are bluer than the Gulf. They can paint anything you can think of. They have the longest legs. Oh, boy.” Hunk forced himself to stop before he went too far and accidently slipped up.

Lance lost his smile half way through Hunk’s dopey smiled rant on this person he liked. Lance had a hard time sharing, no matter what it was. Lance wanted to hunt this person down. His day just went from great to shit.

Shiro saw the change in Lance’s mood as Hunk hid behind his meal. Lance was visibly angry about Hunk’s supposed crush. Shiro wanted to tell Lance who Hunk was talking about, but he wanted Hunk to trust him.

Keith felt Lance’s body tense beneath him as Hunk spoke and gently put his hand over Lance’s fist on his thigh. “So, who is it?” Keith asked bluntly, to both Hunk and Shiro’s horror. 

Hunk blanched, “Uh.” Hunk couldn’t comprehend how he’d gotten stuck in this position. “Hmm.”

Shiro sighed, “Come on, Hun. Out with it.” 

Hunk couldn’t help what came out of his mouth next, he just didn’t want to disappoint Shiro and Keith. “LANCE!” Hunk knew immediately that he was screwed, his whole body was a bright red. 

“Wait. What, me? Since when?” Lance spluttered, unable to function at the thought of Hunk liking him.

Hunk was too flustered to speak, so he nodded.

Shiro helped out, “Yeah, baby. You. Since high school, I think.” Shiro’s light laughter helped to calm Hunk and Lance.

“Why are you just now telling me?” Lance seemed sad.

Hunk was struggling to speak, “At first I was too unsure of our friendship to realize I was attracted to you. And then I was self-conscious like you would not believe. And then you had Shiro. And then Keith. And ugh. I dunno. I just didn’t want to lose you.”

Lance’s face softened, “Hunk, you are so blind. But maybe I am too, I guess.” Lance laughed. “You may have started out as my friend, but you’ve been my boyfriend since the tenth grade, you just didn’t realize enough to reap all the benefits.”

Shiro looked mildly surprised. “You mean to tell me you have another boyfriend, and you didn’t tell us?”

Keith smothered his laughter, “Seriously, Lance? You withheld a great boyfriend from all of us.”

Hunk flushed for the hundredth time that night. 

Lance got even more excited. “MOVIE NIGHT!” Lance’s screech reached every house within ten blocks. “I call the middle.”

“Lance, there is no more middle,“ Shiro said.

“Um, yeah there is, Daddy, if I sit in Hunk’s lap and you and Keith sit on either side. That’s the middle. It’s perfect.”

Hunk looked more excited than Lance ever had. “Would you mind if I took off my shirt?”

Lance laughed, “You can take off whatever you like.” Lance threw in a wink to show Hunk how okay it was.

Hunk grinned as he tore off his shirt. Hunk felt like he was finally home again.

Shiro smiled, “Well, you’ve got all the answers don’t you?” 

They settled in on the couch, Lance sat between Hunk’s thighs with Keith and Shiro cuddled up against him on either side. Hunk wrapped his arms around them as Lance snuggled in. Lance was asleep in moments.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another weird day at the office.

“Babe! I’m soo tired.” Keith pouted at Shiro. 

Shiro laughed spun in his chair. “Well, obviously. You didn’t go to bed last night.”

Keith snorts, “None of us went to bed, technically.” Keith got closer to Shiro.

Shiro looked at Keith with mild disdain, “You know what I mean, Keith. You didn’t sleep, at all.” Shiro pulled Keith into his lap.

Keith was suspicious, “And how would you know if I didn’t sleep?” Keith snuggled into Shiro’s neck.

Shiro leaned back with a guilty look, “Uhm, well. Hah”

Keith looked like he was asleep. “I knew it,” The pride Keith had for being right showed through his voice. 

Shiro sighed, “Keith, you know I can’t let you stay up alone. I could’ve helped you.”

“Oh yeah? How?” Keith was barely awake at this point. 

Shiro looked down at Keith, and raised his eyebrows. “Keith, get your head out of the damn gutter. We could’ve cuddled. Or moved from the couch. Just us or all of us. Whatever you wanted. You didn’t have to sacrifice your sleep to avoid waking Lance. You could’ve thrown him and he would’ve still been soundly asleep.”

Keith groaned, and then he was asleep against Shiro’s chest. 

“Come on, Keith. You were not supposed to fall asleep.” Shiro continued to mutter complaints under his breath as he got up with Keith in his arms and made his way to the mechanics’ break room that his boyfriends never used.

Lance approached Shiro from behind. “Daddy, what are you doing back here?” Lance startled Shiro and hugged them. “Aw, you have such a cute baby. How old is he?”

Shiro gave Lance a bland look and went about settling Keith onto a couch they had for emergency naps. They bought it after Pidge’s first year of college when they found the little gremlin sleeping on the floor of Allura’s office. 

Lance laughed quietly at Shiro’s face, “Oh, come on. He’s cute, isn't he?” Lance whispered, “I think I lucked out with you three.” 

As Shiro tucked a large blanket around Keith, a loud noise came from the front desk. Shiro cringed at the jarring sound. It trashed Shiro’s train of thought as he rushed to figure out what had caused such a ruckus.

Lance squeaked, “What the everloving unicorn kittens was that?” He glanced at Shiro with panic written on his face and curled up with Keith on the couch. Lance’s fear ebbed a little with the familiar contact of Keith’s body.

Shiro had to tear himself away from them. Upon entering the garage he sent Hunk to Lance and continued to the front.

Shiro was beyond aggravated. He was close to tearing into whoever made such a loud noise. He knew he had to plaster on the patented customer service smile his boyfriends hated. 

As soon as Shiro made it through to the front, the familiar sound of laughter hit his ears. His anger melted to vague annoyance. “Alfor, you jerk. I was coming to kill you.” Shiro smiled at his boss.

“Fuck, Shiro. I’m sorry.” Alfor had a little regret written on his face. “This fucking clutz ran into the damn shelf. It’s been there since day one. It’s not fucking new.” Alfor stuck his thumb out at Pidge who was lightly laughing.

“Whatever old man it’s your fault. You jumped out of fucking nowhere.”

Shiro rolled his eyes and left them to their petty pseudo argument.

 

Hunk, with Lance and Keith, is cuddled up on the couch. Hunk hummed softly to Lance to help him stay calm. Absentmindedly, Hunk traced little images onto Lance’s thigh with his fingertips.

Lance was half asleep when Shiro walked back in the back room. Shiro’s demeanor seemed much lighter than when he had left.

“False alarm, Alfor is back.” Shiro’s voice was laced with unabashed annoyance.

Lance groaned and pried himself away from the cuddlefest with Hunk and Keith. “Fuuuuuuck,” Lance walked out of the room and back to work.

At his station, Lance picked up where he left off. The original piece was beautiful, a deep green with a few white pinstripes. Truly, the bike was a masterpiece.

But, his fuckwad of a customer was an idiot and wanted to cover the bike in flames and skulls. It was such a fucking cliche that Lance could barely force himself to do it. 

Lance was done painting the base black coat when Hunk came over.”Hey, babe what’s up?”

“A fucking monster is making me ruin this beautiful bike, and I’m fucking angry,” Lance ranted. The pieces of the motorcycle rested on Lance’s table, the driest was moved so Lance could begin airbrushing the godawful flames. “I mean look at this mess!”

Hunk had a perplexed look on his face, it looks fine… Great, even. “Oh, what a disaster!” Hunk mocked Lance’s situation. “I mean, look at the even coat of black! And those disgusting starter lines for flames, how dare you Lance?” Hunk had a hand to his head and leaned back in false distress.

Lance looked betrayed, “Hunk.” Lance knew he didn’t need to say anything else. 

Hunk looked remorseful, “Babe, I’m sorry. I’ll leave you to it.” Hunk walked away and went to find Shiro. 

In the front room, Hunk plopped on one of the chairs they had for customers. Shiro looked up from his paperwork with his eyebrows raised. “Need something?”

Hunk groaned in frustration, “Not really? I don’t know. Lance is having a conniption over a motorcycle, and I kinda made fun of him.”

Shiro laughed, “Hunk, this is Lance. Why are you so worried?”

Hunk shrugged, “He seems different today. It may be the whole Alfor thing from earlier plus this paint job. But I really just want him to be okay with what’s happened.”

Shiro had gotten up and approached Hunk while he was speaking. “Jeez, Hunk. We are talking about Lance. Your best friend from diapers, the man you’ve been practically dating for years now.” Shiro placed his hand on Hunk’s shoulder.

Hunk would’ve said something back, but a large man came through the door. “Does this place have any competent mechanics? The place down the street is full of fuck ups.”

Shiro removed his hand and went back to his desk. “I’m sorry they were inadequate for your taste, sir. What are you looking to have fixed? I’ll be able to tell you who can work on what.”

The large man snarled, “It’s a 1970 Mustang, you little punk. I want it fixed. Now.”

Hunk walked out, it was clear he would not be working on this beast. 

Shiro could barely restrain himself, “Well, I’ll get our best men on it. If you’ll fill out this paperwork for me, that would be great.” Shiro handed the man a clipboard with a large stack of papers. Shiro also pointed to a cup of pens for customer use so he could take one. 

The man reached over Shiro’s desk and stole his pen to fill out the papers with and sat down where Hunk was a few minutes before.

Shiro went back to his own work and listened to the sound of his own damn pen on someone else’s paper. The noise grated on Shiro. 

An idea hit Shiro in the face, and he sneakily turned up the practically silent music coming from his arm. The grin on his face from his own prank was so wide it hurt.

The offending song startled everyone in the building. Keith and Pidge walked in to investigate. 

Shiro’s pride was obvious, especially to the burly man. He jumped to his feet and strode to the front desk.

“Do you think this is fucking funny? I can take my car and my money some fucking where else.” The beastly man seethed. 

Shiro smothered his pride, “I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t expect that to happen.” Shiro tried not to laugh at the combination of this very angry man and What's New Pussycat playing from Lance’s playlist for him.

The man looked skeptical, “Fucking kids, here.” The dick threw the clipboard back at Shiro. “I’m done with this. It’s in the parking lot. Find it yourself.” With that, the large man left.

Shiro had been able to dodge the clipboard, but some of the pages had fallen out so he had to collect them. 

Keith stood in the doorway in front of Pidge to protect them. As soon as the door closed behind that awful human being (if you could call him that, no one is sure), Pidge practically fell on their ass cackling.

“Uh, Shiro? You need some help there?” Keith walked over.

Shiro looked up from the floor as he picked up the last page. Shiro’s laughter filled the room and flooded out into the garage. 

Keith looked between Shiro and Pidge, both incapacitated by their hysterics. “Really guys?” Keith’s exasperation only spurred their laughter more.

After a few more minutes of their cackling, Keith threw his hands in the air and walked out. As he stepped over Pidge, Lance and Hunk came into the room.

“You’re having fun without us?” Lance pouted.

Keith shrugged and continued to leave the room.

After a few awkward moments of more laughter and Lance trying to get in on the joke, they finally stopped.

Lance nudged Hunk, “Fucking finally.” He looked at Shiro, “Is this about my playlist? We heard it out in the garage.”

Shiro’s grin stretched as he turned the volume back down, “Yes. There was a customer who was... Not a nice person, and I had to put them in their place. Which is not in here.”

Lance was not surprised by Shiro’s dad-like prank. “Good one, what did he want?”

“He wants someone to fix up a Mustang, I’m going to have Keith do it.” Shiro read through the paperwork, a few things didn’t look right. “Huh, I’ll be back. Coran and Alfor will need to see this.”

As Shiro walked by on his way out, he squeezed Lance’s shoulder. “Get back to that bike.”

Lance pouted and spun on his heel to follow him back into the garage. Lance trudged back to his project. Hunk lingered by the door, debating on whether to follow Lance or not. He decided to give him a little space and went back to his own projects. 

At that point Hunk was modifying a radio to put into an old pick up. The owner wanted a sick sound system, but the old bitch of a truck couldn’t handle anything from a store. The truck is so old all of it’s replacement parts have either been discontinued or bought out. Hunk loved it, he wanted a truck just like it. 

Hunk hummed quietly while he worked and snuck quick glances at Lance.

Lance danced around his work station with his headphones in. He was almost done getting the flames outlined so he could go in with a lighter color, and get to the stupid looking skull. 

Lance’s anger and frustration was apparent through the too loud music that filtered out of his headphones and the jerky movements he made when he paused his painting. Lance felt Hunk’s gaze as he thrashed around his space. 

Lance’s movements calmed the closer he got to finishing up his current step. With his final touches on the beginnings of the flames Lance collapsed onto his stool. 

Keith was bored, he’d finished all of his projects. He watched Lance play a familiar game with Hunk. Keith was hoping Hunk didn’t fall for it, but it seemed like he would be disappointed.

Keith stood from his perch and stretched. Keith left the garage and headed back to the offices in search of Shiro. On his way back, Keith passed a passed out Pidge. He made a small detour to take them to the couch. Pidge didn’t stir at all.

Outside of Coran’s office Keith heard Shiro speak, “... Alfor, listen to me. The VIN is the same. I don’t know how, but I’m pretty sure that guy, uh Snednak?, stole this car.”

Keith paused at Alfor’s voice, “All right. Let’s not do anything rash.” Alfor was the only one that had a way to out dad Shiro. “Sendak works for my long time friend Zarkon. He might be able to explain all this. They may have bought it from the person who was here before.”

Keith could see Shiro’s disagreement on his face, “But, sir. I talked to the previous owner. Nyma loved that car. They wouldn’t have sold it. I know it.” Shiro sighed as he watched Alfor, whom Keith could not see, “Alright. I understand. I’ll have Keith start on the modifications.”

Shiro continued to talk, but at the mention of his name Keith turned to return to his station. He wasn’t supposed to have heard all that.

Keith approached Lance and Hunk. They had abandoned their previous game and Lance was quizzing Hunk.

“How many notes did my first Boyfriend Squad photoset get?” Lance looked smug.

Hunk’s face contorted in almost pseudo confusion, “Uh, 219,342 notes.”

Lance’s smug look shattered, “You asshole. You got a Tumblr!”

Hunk laughed, “Lance, I’m the one who showed it to you.” Hunk rolled his eyes, “Hit me again. Brag to all the Wannabaes about how great your newest boyfriend is.”

Lance scoffed, “I definitely do not remember that.” 

Hunk sighed and pulled Lance into his side. “Pout all you want, babe. That won’t change a thing.” Hunk kissed Lance’s cheek.

Lance grinned at the attention and finally acknowledged Keith, “Honey, you’re here.” Lance’s mouth stretched into a large grin.

Keith scoffed at Lance’s sickeningly candid voice, “Blue. Just don’t.” Keith turned to Hunk, “I just overheard Shiro talking to the Big Men™ about some shady shit. That shitlord from earlier is into some business I want no part in. Now I think you should walk in there and offer assistance with their computer-y needs before they try to do it themselves.” Keith’s gray eyes were steadily keeping contact with Hunk’s.

Hunk sighed. “Ew. Fine, okay. Why not Pidge?” Hunk grumbled as he kissed Lance’s face again and walked away. 

Lance poked his bottom lip out and widened his eyes at Keith.

Keith tried to resist.

He failed.

Miserably.

Keith came in close to Lance with his arms spread just enough for what Lance wanted. 

The triumph on Lance’s face was nothing compared to the sound of victory that escaped his mouth. Keith barely knew why he tolerated any of Lance’s shit. But, in that moment, he was sure Lance’s Puppy Dog™ face was the sole reason. That boy is just damn cute when he shuts up.

Lance settled into Keith’s arms. “What are we gonna do?” Lance had Keith in the air with his hug.

“Let Hunk and Shiro talk to Alfor, and wait, most likely.” Keith let his feet dangle. “I may end up pretending with this Snednak to keep him in the dark and to get more information. But, other than that I think it’s mostly Alfor’s job to get Zarkon’s side of this fucked situation.”

 

Lance sighed and put Keith back down, “I don’t want you to go anywhere near that asshole.”

Keith scoffed, “It’s not about anything other than getting this girl her car back.”

Lance pouted, “Yeah I know. Doesn’t make me want it any more.”

“I know, blue. We’re gonna have to deal with it for now.”

 

“Keith said there was a thing you might need me for? Something about a stolen car?” Hunk entered Coran’s office.

“I knew he was back there,” Alfor grumbled. “He could’ve came in here himself. But, yes Hunk. We will be in need of you assistance and secrecy. Someone involved with a childhood friend has come in with a car that appears to be someone else’s.”

Shiro explained some of the situation to Hunk, but he wasn’t listening. Hunk was off in some other place, trying to plan attack on this car thief. 

“God fuuuuck.” Shiro groaned. “I don’t want to deal with this.” He walked out of the office.

The remaining men silently agreed, but stayed put. They stood around for a few moments. Hunk was lost in thought. Alfor had Coran in an embrace while they waited. 

“I GOT IT,” Hunk’s excited exclamation startled the married couple apart. Hunk went over his plan in a much more quiet tone. It was foolproof and he was excited. Hunk blew through his plan.

Alfor and Coran barely knew what was being machine-gunned at them, but agreed with Hunk completely.

“Hunk you’re a gosh darn genius.” Coran beamed.

Alfor chuckled at his husband’s eagerness, “Hunk you go back to work. We’ll start this tomorrow. It’s getting kind of late anyway.”

Hunk was relieved that they took his plan almost immediately. “Yessir.” Hunk left the room while Alfor and Coran spoke softly to each other.

He detoured through the break room to check on Pidge. He grabbed a water from the fridge and paused by Pidge to throw a blanket over them.

Hunk heard Lance and Keith humming in the garage. They were harmonizing. He chuckled to himself as he walked through them to his own station with the old truck.

Hunk was custom building most of the parts he needed for this old piece of shit truck. It was the greatest project he’d been given in a while. He was part way through casting a new plastic covering so he could start on the sound system after replacing it.

Lance had progressively gotten louder with his humming while he worked. Now it was more singing, words were coming out periodically. Keith had surpassed Lance into full blown singing. It was some song Hunk had heard many times before because of Lance but he had no idea what it actually was.

Hunk checked his cast to make sure it wasn’t fucking itself and slumped onto his stool. With closed eyes Hunk relaxed and drifted away to the sound of Keith and Lance serenading him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr, @letkeithsayfuck  
> Come find me.


	3. Three

Hunk was carried out of the garage, still sleeping, by Shiro, Lance, and Keith.

Pidge stood by Alfor and watched them struggle out the door. “Is he too heavy for y’all?” They called across the work space. Pidge’s laughter drowned out anything Keith said in response.

Lance flipped Pidge the bird as the group grunted their way to the car. 

Once they left Alfor turned to Pidge with disappointment. “Pidge, you need to slow down.” Alfor picked up a conversation they had weeks before.

Pidge brushed him off with a scoff, “I don’t need this, old man. I know what I’m doing.” Pidge turned away to gather their things.

Alfor rested his hand on their shoulder, “No you don’t, Pidge. But I am not one to stop you. And it wouldn’t be my fault if Matt just so happened to be coming to visit Shiro in a few days.” Alfor was smug about his seemingly foolproof trap.

Pidge rolled their eyes, “I’ve been expecting Matt for months because of Shiro’s birthday. You’ll have to do better to surprise me, old man.” Pidge snorted softly at Alfor’s shock. “What? Thought I would fall for your dumb trap?”

Alfor huffed at Pidge’s petulance, “If you expecting him, why haven’t you stopped?”

PIdge’s back was stiff as they shoved their stuff into their bag. Pidge’s silence was all Alfor needed.

“Kid, you should fucking listen to me when I’m talking to you. Your stupidity and arrogance are going to get you caught, and Matt won’t be able to look at you the same. Everything you do toes the line of legality, Pidge. Get your fucking head out of your fucking ass and use it.” Alfor sighed at Pidge, they were pretending to ignore his long speech. “Just fucking leave already, get some fucking sleep. Jesus fucking Christ.”

Pidge grumbled as they walked away and kicked bolts from the floor around. 

Alfor’s eyes rolled as he waited until they were gone to close the large door for the garage. He walked away in search of his husband.

“Finally, I can hear myself think again.” Coran’s amusement lit up Alfor’s mood substantially. 

Alfor practically ran into the room to pick up Coran and spin him around. Coran’s laughter rang out and echoed down the halls. Alfor kissed his forehead, then his nose and cheeks.

Coran laughed a little as his face pulled into a pout. “Alfor, I’m getting too old for this.”

Alfor pulled back in shock, “Too old?” Alfor laughed. “You’re barely thirty, Coran.”

Coran rolled his eyes at Alfor, “If I was barely thirty we wouldn’t be here, and you know it, Alfor. Stop sucking up and kiss your own husband.” Coran huffed. “On the mouth this time, boy.” Coran remembered to dictate.

Alfor laughed and leaned in close. “Where’s the fun in giving you exactly what you want? I want to see you squirm.” 

Coran grunted and grabbed Alfor’s shirt to hold him in place. Alfor laughed lightly as Coran kissed him like they hadn’t seen each other in a lot longer than the half hour that actually passed.

Alfor reluctantly pulled back, “We should get home, gotta get ready.” Alfor kissed Coran one more time before completely pulling away.

They went home to change out of their work clothes. They had an important dinner date with an uppity gang leader.

Alfor tugged at his tie. “I hate these things.” He continued to grumble and shuffle around.

Coran laughed lightly, “Come here, I’ll fix it.” He pulled Alfor closer by his tie. “You never get it right.” Coran tisked at his poorly knotted necktie. 

Alfor grinned, “Why do I need to learn when I’ve got you around all the time?” He grinned at Coran’s pointed gaze. “Aw, Coran. You know I keep you around because I love you.” Alfor kissed Coran’s cheek as he shrugged on his suit jacket.

Coran scoffed at Alfor’s childish reminder, “But you only love me because I’m more adult than you.” He was teasing his husband, which was uncommon for Coran.

Alfor’s eyes glittered as he grinned. He tugged Coran out of their shared room and to the outside. They got into Alfor’s tank of a car and drove to the restaurant. 

They had soft music from the radio playing. Coran stared out the window and held Alfor’s free hand. Alfor liked to drive in this comfortable silence. 

Inside the restaurant, they met Alfor’s long-time friend. Zarkon, the greasy bastard, was seated in a booth at the back of the dining area. 

Turtle-face stood to greet Alfor. “Hello old buddy, old pal, how ya been?” 

 

Coran was immediately suspicious of Zarkon, but that was common place. 

“I’ve been pretty good, Zarkipoo.” Alfor laughed and sat down. “How about you?”

Zarkon’s face twisted in annoyance, “All’s well.”

Coran’s suspicion increased tenfold at Zarkon’s unusually calm response to the old nickname, but he stayed quiet.

Alfor didn’t seem to notice and moved onto reading his menu, even though they all knew what he was going to order. Zarkon and Coran left their menus alone. They came here twice a month and all know the menu by heart.

The waitress came to their table, “Y’all ready to order? What can I get ch’all to drink?”

“I’ll take a wine, you’re finest red.” Zarkon’s uppity voice rang out through the quiet dining area and echoed through to the kitchen. “They’ll have a couple of waters,” Zarkon said before either could tell the waitress what they actually wanted.

“Alright, hun. I’ll be right back with those drinks,” She bounced away.

Alfor sank back in his seat, “Zarkon, I have reason to believe your right hand has stolen a car from one of my customers.”

“Sendak?” Zarkon said through obviously fake shock. “My men would never.”

Coran visibly cringed at the fake proclamation. 

Alfor was about to defend Shiro’s argument when Zarkon pulled a gun out from beneath the table. He aimed it at Coran.

“I knew this would happen, Alfor! I told you he didn’t like having me around.” Coran acted like a basic white girl. “I’m too old and gay for your shit, Zarkipoo.” 

Zarkon didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger. Alfor’s shock wore off and he pushed Coran back and put himself in it’s path. Coran’s shocked noise could be heard throughout the whole block, he was practically screaming. 

Zarkon’s pissed off turtle face was splattered in blood. “BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER. You just had to get in my fucking way.” Zarkon stood up and aimed his gun once again, this time at his former best friend.

Coran jumped over the table from his crouch and kicked the gun from Zarkon’s hands. “SURPRISE TURTLE-FACE!” 

Zarkon exclaimed in outrage. “WHY YOU LITTLE-”

Alfor cut him off with a wide punch to the neck. Pain washed over his whole body as he sank to his knees by Coran. 

Cops flooded in to help, but as they assessed the scene decided that no help was necessary and put their guns away. Coran pointed at Zarkon as a gesture to the cops as they approached and told them what happened. Alfor had practically collapsed over Coran’s lap.

The paramedics came in and put him on a stretcher, then hauled ass to the hospital. Coran stayed behind to finish talking to the cops.Once they were done with their questions, the cops released Coran back into the wild. His first move was to call Shiro and tell him what happened.

“I need you to meet me at Arus Hospital. Get there as soon as you can.” Coran hung up and started his car.


End file.
